I can't really go into detail about the last 14 months of trying to adopt him. I can, I guess, but it doesn't feel fair to him. He is completely unaware of any of it. He doesn't know his adoption was finalized Friday. His life is business as usual. In fact, when we came home from the courthouse, overflowing with joy, he wanted to know why he hadn't been allowed to play his Batman game yet. All he knew about that day was that a lot of people who adore him were there at the same time and he got to drink chocolate milk and two Dr. Peppers all in the same day. (We paid for that later.) I'll just say this: It has been a long, trying 14 months. We have relied on our friends and families a great deal. We have completely lost it more than once. Yes, the adoption process has been long and painful. But, I'm told, so is childbirth.
Part of the adoption process was a home study. Part of that home study was a list of questions, one of which was "What are your hopes and dreams for the child you are trying to adopt?" Rather than answer the question directly, I chose to write a letter to my son. I've been asked by a couple of people to share it, so it follows here. I think, like any other mother, I am incapable of explaining my feelings for my child or my feelings about becoming a mom. Maybe some day I will be a better writer and I will be able, but probably not. I'm too close to see it clearly. This letter is probably the best I can do.